You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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