Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She said her name was "party"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
