Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
