I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
