you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
