ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Barsexuality is the new black.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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