Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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