my being single is dangerous.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It's official drugs can't kill me
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
