You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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