What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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