if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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