I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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