Kareoke will never be a sober sport
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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