I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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