I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
