FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
