well I can't set my house on fire every night
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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