The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
