Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
