He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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