That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
