I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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