I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
