Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
