But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
