make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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