First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
