they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
