I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
