Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
