currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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