By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I'm really busy with my period
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