I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
