ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
