i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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