I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I think people are normalizing furries
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
