Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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