His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
