Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
