saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
