I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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