My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
