Where is the hickey?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
