I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
