So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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