you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
