I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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