She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
