real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
True strength comes from lack of pants
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
