I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
