my sisters under your porch take her home
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
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