Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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