Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
worst night to have a conscience
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
